The Possession Clown
by The Threat
Summary: Two popular Dutch children's entertainers, discuss the scariest movie ever made.


Disclaimer: not one character used here is mine.

* * *

Taking in his last bite of breakfast, the clown sinks back in his seat, relaxed.  
"Is Mr. the Clown finished?" his blue shirted friend, sitting opposite him at the table, asks.  
"Finished, like yesterday's breakfast," he replies.  
"You're a real clown," his friend remarks, smiling.  
"You're not the first to tell me," the clown retorts.  
With this little exchange, the blue-shirted man picks up the paper, which is lying next to him.  
The clown starts twiddling his thumbs, and looks around.  
"Adriaan," the clown calls to his friend.  
Hearing him, Adriaan looks up from his newspaper.  
"I'm a little bored now," he says. "Can I read the paper?"  
"Bassie," Adriaan replies, holding his paper a little higher. "I'm reading it now. Wait until I'm finished."  
As Adriaan continues to read, Bassie places his head on his hands, sulking.  
Tapping his fingers on the table, Bassie tries to come up with something to do. He looks at his friend again, who is still reading the paper.  
The front page shows several things. There is a picture of what looks like a tall man, fighting an insect of the same size, while surrounded by a tiny landscape. There is a small article about someone named Lee, who died one month earlier. And another about a number of people that keep disappearing in Texas.  
Seeing nothing of interest there, Bassie's eyes turn to the back page.  
There, he sees something he likes. He reaches out, grabs hold of the final page of the paper, and pulls it out of Adriaan's hands.  
"Bassie!" Adriaan cries. "What are you doing? I told you, you have to wait until I'm finished with the paper!"  
"Well, you can still read the paper," Bassie reasons. "While I'll only read the entertainment page."  
Adriaan sighs. "And he calls himself a dumb clown."  
Bassie laughs. "Yep! I am dumb. But not smart!"  
Having said that, Bassie looks at the page in front of him, and reads a few lines.  
"Adriaan," he calls to his friend.  
Not looking away from his paper, Adriaan replies. "Yes?"  
"Why would someone need to exercise a polished girl?" Bassie asked.  
"Probably because..." Adriaan begins, but stops himself, as he realizes the nonsense of what Bassie just said. "What are you babbling about?"  
"Well, it says so right here," Bassie points to an article in the page he's holding.  
Curious as to what that could be about, Adriaan takes the page from him, and reads it.  
"Coming soon to the theaters," he reads. "The Exorcist. A movie, based on rumors about a girl in 1971, who was possessed, and needed to be exorcised."  
Reading this, Adriaan cackles.  
"What are you laughing about?" Bassie is dumbfounded.  
"They weren't exercising a polished girl," Adriaan corrects him. "They were exorcising a possessed girl."  
"Oh, I get it now!" Bassie laughs, but quickly changes his tone. "But I still don't understand."  
"I'll try to explain," Adriaan says, while straightening his back. "Imagine that there is someone inside you, that isn't you. Someone making you do things that you don't want to do."  
Bassie is visibly shivering at the thought.  
"That's what it means to be possessed," Adriaan finishes.  
"Isn't there anything that can be done?"  
"There is," Adriaan answers. "That's when you call an exorcist. They would drive this other person out of you. Saving you from possession."  
"Oh, is that so?" Bassie sounds a little more enthused this time. "So an exorcist is a kind of superhero?"  
"Mmm... yeah, that's one way of putting it," Adriaan replies.  
"That sounds like fun," Bassie says. "Being an exorcist. Hey!"  
He turns his head away from his friend, whispering to himself. "This I've gotta see on the inside of my eyes."  
He closes his eyes, and lets his mind wander...

_A door opens, and two men walk in. Both are dressed in black robes, but only one of them is wearing clown make-up.  
_"_All righty," the clown says. "Assistant Adriaan? Where is our possessed girl."  
__The assitant, Adriaan, frowns at this. "Bassie, she right over there."  
_"_Where?" the clown, Bassie, looks around.  
_"_There," Adriaan points.  
__Bassie looks in every direction, except the one where Adriaan is pointing.  
__Curling his lip, Adriaan grabs Bassie by the shoulders, turns him around, facing the right direction.  
_"_There," he points again.  
__This time Bassie sees it. One girl, in a blue dress, with green skin, and red stripes on her face and arms, lying on the bed, moaning.  
_"_Is that a girl?" Bassie asks, scoffing. "I thought it was some rare breed of tiger."  
__Adriaan shakes his head. "No, Bassie. THAT is our possessed girl. And YOU have to exorcise her."  
__Bassie approaches the girl, who turns her head toward him, growling.  
_"_Hello there," Bassie greats her.  
_"_Yawa og!" she says.  
__Bassie widens his eyes. "Yawa og? Must be how she says 'hello'. Well, yawa og to you too! I'm Bassie, and I'm your exorcist."  
__The girl rises up, clacking her teeth at him.  
_"_Hey! Don't bite off my nose!" Bassie says, backing off a little.  
__Adriaan approaches him. "Try to gain her confidence. She might be less aggressive."  
_"_How do I do that?"  
_"_Start with asking her name," Adriaan suggests.  
_"_Good idea," Bassie nods. "What is your name?"  
_"_Enoonmai," she replies.  
_"_Well, hello Enoonmai," Bassie replies. "And how are you feeling?"  
_"_Kniht uoy do tahw? Lrig elttil a tuoba gnizisatnaf er'uoy," the girl replies.  
_"_Bad case of the flu," Bassie replies. "Just as I thought."  
__The girl groans again. "Ecnegilletni namuh fo elcannip eht yllaer siht si?!"  
__Bassie exhales deeply, and slaps his arms around his body, shivering. "Is it cold here, is it just me?"  
_"_This means that the possession is getting worse," Adriaan lets him know. "You must read from the book now."  
_"_What book?"  
__Adriaan holds out a thick leather book.  
_"_Oh, THAT book," Bassie remembers, and takes it out of Adriaan's hands.  
__He opens it at the middle, and starts reading. "Kruusde vruudel, dezeverde vreedal."  
__Frowning at the sound of that, Adriaan takes a closer look. Sighing, he takes the book out of Bassie's hands, turns it around, and puts it back in his hands.  
_"_Oh!" now Bassie understands. "For a second I thought it was written in this girl's language."  
__He cackles a little more, before returning his focus on the book.  
__Said focus gets broken, as the girl sits up again, opening her mouth wide.  
_"_Your mother grinds cogs in hell!" she shouts.  
__Bassie's jaw drops at that. In anger, he rises up from the bed. "How dare you bring my mother into this!"  
__The girl grins.  
_"_That does it!" he smacks the book into Adriaan's belly, who winces a little at the impact.  
__Waving his right arm, Bassie exclaims his words. "Abacarabra!"  
_"_Llabtaem, arbadacarba s'ti!" the girl moans.  
__Within seconds of her mentioning the words, her bed starts to shake.  
_"_This is not going well," Bassie realizes. "She's too strong for me. Adriaan!?"  
_"_Yes?" he replies.  
_"_You repeat after me," Bassie suggests.  
__Shrugging, Adriaan does exactly that. "Abacarabra!"  
_"_No!" Bassie shouts. "Not yet! Me first!"  
__He turns back to the girl, and makes the same hand wave again, as he repeats his words.  
_"_Abacarabra!"  
__Adriaan repeats. "Abacarabra."  
__The girl winces, as her back arches.  
_"_Sand, soap, soda!" Bassie continues, and Adriaan repeats.  
_"_Sand, soap, soda!"  
__The girl can be heard crying no, as some invisible force forces her back on the bed.  
__Smiling, Bassie continues. "Pity, patty, poo!"  
__The girl's body floats up, when Adriaan repeats. "Pity, patty, poo!"  
__Her head shifts to the left.  
_"_Pity, paty, paa!" Bassie exclaims.  
__The girl's head shifts to the right, when Adriaan repeats. "Pity, patty, paa!"  
_"_Doodle-dee!" Bassie continues.  
_"_Doodle-dee!"  
__Bassie lowers his hand as he finishes. "Doodle-daa!"  
_"_Doodle-daa!"  
__With that, the girl smacks back onto her bed, motionless.  
_"_Hah!" Bassie sits down next to her. "Never thought a dumb clown like me could beat you, huh?"  
__He pats her belly as he talks. "But I did."  
__His last pat causes her to open her mouth, spewing out a green goo.  
__Instinctively shutting his eyes, Bassie can feel all the goo raining down all over him.  
__Adriaan places his hand on Bassie's shoulder, making a tisking sound with his mouth. "Some things are better done on an empty stomach!"  
__Adriaan cackles, while Bassie makes a fake laugh. "Oh, what fun do I have(!)"_

With that final image etched into his mind, Bassie opens his eyes.  
"Boy, oh boy," he moans. "Was THAT disgusting."  
Looking up from his newspaper, Adriaan frowns. "What are you talking about?"  
Bassie opens his mouth to explain, but thinks better of it. "Ah, never mind. I was just dreaming."  
"Sure you were," Adriaan sighs. "Well, dreamer, we better get ready. The show's about to start, and we haven't even readied our props yet."  
"Why didn't you say so before!" Bassie shouts.  
Not waiting for a reply, the clown rises up from his seat, knocking the table over.  
"Bassie watch ou..." Adriaan shouts, but too late.


End file.
